WHY WE LOVE COPS
Sure, for some women a cop’s career is a turn off. And I’m not saying individual traits aren’t important or considered. But in general, when it comes to the early attraction phase, cops are hot.
Why? Basic assumptions. We assume cops have physical strength, courage, honor, and unique skills. He knows how to use “manly” tools: handcuffs and a gun. He can take down a bad guy and protect a woman.
But in my opinion, the cop’s allure comes down to control, a woman’s assumption that cops have it, and a woman’s fantasy that she’s the one woman who can make a cop lose it.
When I was a deputy district attorney, I viewed male cops like anyone else–some more likable than others, some more attractive. I saw the drudgery, the long hours, the politics, or the pain/danger they endured, and not always well.
It was only after I left the D.A.’s office and had time and distance from these real men that I started to have a “thing” for them. I started to see them less as individual people and more as a heroic stereotype.
I see a young, attractive cop in court now and I immediately assume his heroic possibilities. I instinctively grant him professional control and passionate lack of control, as well as all the attributes and back story that are befitting a multi-dimensional hero. He’s got built-in character growth before I know anything about him.
There are many, many wonderful men in law enforcement who are deserving of a woman’s respect and admiration and full-blown desire, but ultimately they deserve all those things because of the way they live out their lives, both on the job and off, and not because of assumptions or fantasies.
My friend Amanda is married to a cop. A few days ago, while she was in a meeting, her husband of twenty years placed two roses and a note in her car. Just because. Just because he wanted to tell her how much he still loved her.
That’s heroic. That’s hot. And it has nothing to do with the badge he wears.
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Are you attracted to a man in uniform? Why or why not?
March 5th, 2008
Virna 
in
Virna's Columns |
Everyone loves a good hero, but what do readers, agents, editors, and writers love most? Join us as we delve under the covers and find out!
March 5th, 2008 at 6:23 am
A uniform can totally make me swoon. I think it’s the discipline angle. And authority.
March 5th, 2008 at 11:54 am
weeeeell, Virna, as you know I have teensy weensy thing when it comes to guys in blue. For me, I like that they are so controlled in one area, but when it comes to their women they lose control in other areas.
I like alphas, and for the most part you gotta have some alpha in you to be a decent cop.Of course there are some real assholes sporting a badge. Power goes to a lot of guys’ heads. And not their little one.
March 5th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Oh, my goodness don’t get me started. I worked in Law Enforcement for twenty years. I’m married to a cop, who comes from a cop family. I’m the daughter of a cop. I’m sister of a cop. I’m aunt to at least five, if I get the figures right in my head. And my best-friend, is a cop…I’m literally live and breath cops. And I can tell you they are just like everyone else. They put their pants on one leg at a time.
But there is an allure to the uniform. When I was a little girl and my friends would be at my house when my dad came home wearing his uniform and a gun, (I thought nothing of it), I saw their faces light up with interest. Their eyes glowed with admiration. My dad was a real hero. He didn’t just mow the lawn on Saturday; he wore a gun and fought crime. They loved him. So did I, but he was my daddy.
The allure only goes as far as the male cops. Female cops are viewed very differently. They don’t get hero status. The outside world is suspect of female cops. Even if she does look good in the uniform, the guy looks better.
Cops are rescuers, and women love them for it, and love the idea. I think it must be the whole caveman thing. Who is controlling the fire. Alpha males are just so attractive.
In my career I buried two friends killed in the line of duty. It changed me, it changed my husband. We mourned the loss of three K-9 friends killed, also in the line of duty. It made us look at retirement more closely.
I have a great appreciation for cops, but that appreciation is very realistic. For all the good, the bad, and the ugly, cops are our heroes, because no one else wants the job.
March 5th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Lone–I agree, authoritative is so attractive because it goes hand in hand with being confident, assured, and capable.
Lee–Wow, you really have led a cop’s life from childhood on. You must have such amazing stories to tell! I’ve already heard some, but I want more!
Karin–Totally funny and true. My personal opinion is any hero has to have a little bit of alpha in him. A cop is going to have some to spare.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Some of the men in blue are actually men in khaki, thank you very much. And a nice khaki it is too, especially in the derriere area. I’ve seen grown women go gaga over a police officer. hahahaha
Imagine Scarlett O’Hara voice: “Honey,” said while digging fingernails into my hubby’s arm as if he will disappear if she let’s go. “I just loooove a man in uniform.” Gag me with a spoon. Back away girl!! He’s taken.
March 5th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Yes, that’s a whole new blog, Jill. The burden of being a hot cop’s wife. But you’ve obviously got it all under control! I admit to feeling a little nervous when I thought your “back away girl” was directed at me!