THE SECOND TIME AROUND
Heroes with playboy pasts are easy to find. Heroes who’ve cared about the women in their pasts are slightly more rare, but still common. However, I haven’t found a lot of novels about heroes who’ve genuinely loved another woman before the heroine. I’m not talking about the “I thought I loved her, but until I met you I didn’t know what love was really about” kind of love, but the “I loved her with every fiber of my being and can’t possibly love someone else again” kind of love. The kind that makes the reader rethink the idea of soul mates and once-in-a-lifetime love.
I’ll admit, it’s a hard sell for me. I like the idea of the hero finding “the one” woman he’s been waiting a lifetime for. The one that can save him. As such, when I’m faced with a hero who strongly loved another woman before the heroine, my loyalty becomes divided. I root for the hero and heroine to get together, but in the back of my mind I wonder—doesn’t their union diminish the love he’d professed before her?
On a couple of occasions, I’ve read stories that have effectively executed the “second-time-around” romance. Often the stories work for me because there’s an attempt to explain why the hero’s second chance at love is not a betrayal of his first. In one book, for example, the hero realized that he had changed so much and was such a different man that his love for the heroine couldn’t even be compared to what existed before.
In one of my favorite books, Sullivan’s Miracle by Lindsey Longford (a Silhouette Intimate romance), there’s a suspicion on the hero’s part that the heroine might be a reincarnation of his former love. I particularly loved how Longford handled that book because, even with reincarnation, the second chance didn’t come easily. Rather, the heroine, who had no memory of her former self, struggled with denial and fears about whether the hero loved her—the woman she was in that lifetime—or merely the memory of the woman she’d been before. At the same time, the hero had to come to the conclusion that, reincarnated or not, he loved the heroine as she stood before him, so much that he would die for her.
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Do you believe in second chances or would you rather read about a hero’s “one true love?” If you have a favorite “second chance at love” book, why did it work for you?
February 27th, 2008
Virna 
in
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February 27th, 2008 at 8:45 am
I think, for me, it depends on why the hero and his first love parted ways. If she died or something, then sure, I can dig him. But if they just drifted apart or if they had to part in order to attend to their individual destinies or something, then no, I’m not going to see him as a hero. I guess it’s because I believe love should always come first, and if you love someone, then you find a way to make your life’s destiny include them. Otherwise it’s not really a great love.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:02 am
The hero’s conflict about “betraying” his previous love and the heroine’s concerns about “competing” with this woman in the hero’s past for his love are interesting issues to explore in a book, but “second chance” stories aren’t my favorite, largely because they cast a shadow on the ideal that love lasts forever. Previous love died? Now the eventual death of the current heroine is lurking in the back of my mind. Previous love turned out to be mean nasty? I wonder why the hero was stupid enough to be taken in by her in the first place. It “just didn’t work out”? Like Lone Chatelaine, I believe if it’s love, you make it work.
I read a lot of paranormals, so the reincarnation issue isn’t all that uncommon in my experience. Kresley Cole’s Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night and Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Night Embrace, to name two, have the heroine in the unhappy position of uncertainty–is it me he loves, or this woman he thinks I used to be? It’s a valid question, particularly since the modern version is usually the polar opposite of the deceased, and the hero wouldn’t want to be within 20 miles of her except for his certainty that she’s the reincarnation of this other woman. (Incidentally, why is it never the MAN who’s reincarnated?)
Now, second chance with the same person… “Now that we’ve both grown up, we can make this work.” Those are easier for me to swallow.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:45 am
This is a compelling idea in romance. I can’t say I have any memory of reading a book, at least recently, (one can not count on my memory) that tackled this subject. The reincarnation idea is a well used one, and is a bit worn out. I agree why it can’t be the guy who is traveling through souls.
We have men who have been burned by the ex-wife, or girlfriend, by way of betrayal. Then they’re just left angry and bitter, and the new woman gets stuck with the nasty task of mending his broken heart. Death of the one great love is another issue sometimes appearing in romance, but not often. And usually what’s thrown in, ‘before she died, the relationship was failing.’
This is an intriguing idea, and one true to life.
A little tale. My aunt during WWII was engaged to a young man who was killed. The family rumors said this was her one great love. My mom confirmed it, and said she refused to date for years afterwards. But eventually she met and married a wonderful man. They went on to have a family and lived a long successful life together. She never forgot her first love, but time moves ahead and so does the heart. It happens in real life, why can’t it happen in books.
February 27th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Lee’s story about her aunt brought to mind a story about my great uncle and great aunt who were married 5 times—to each other. In between one of their divorces, they each married someone else, and my uncle even had a daughter, but eventually, the ’soul mates’ reconnected. I don’t know if he truly loved the second woman he married and had a child with, but the idea that he kept coming back (and she to him) to his first love has a huge element of romance to it. Of course they fought a lot which is why they kept getting divorced! Nothing’s perfect in real life. =)
This is a really interesting question, V. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m not very well-read in romance, so the reincarnation theme isn’t one I’ve read, nor is the second chance theme. I think, as with any book and theme, if it is well-written, it will work.
I loved The Time Traveler’s Wife which is sort of a take on the second chance theme–high concept in the sense that the same man traveling back and forth through time to different parts of his own life and has the opportunity to exerience his relationship with his wife for the second time around with full knowledge of their present. It’s second chance in reverse and an interesting and great book.
Great post, V!
February 27th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I just finished a book, Karen Rose’s Count to Ten. Reed’s wife died and she had been the perfect wife, the perfect mother, his soul mate. So when he tries to have a no-strings relationship with Mia it takes him a long time to realize that he can still love the dead wife and find a new, different love as well. I could buy that scenario.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Lone: I agree, if it’s true love, its failure has to be beyond the control of the hero or heroine. If something were to happen to me, would I REALLY want my husband to fall in love with another woman? In all honestly, I might want him to have a companion, or someone to help raise the kids, or someone to make his days a little easier, but I would ALWAYS want to be his “one and only.” I guess I expect that kind of love in literature, too.
Kerry: I checked out your website and some of the books you’d recommend. I noticed JR Ward wasn’t mentioned. Have you read her? She writes super alpha vampire heroes. She has one hero whose wife, his one true mate, appears to have been killed. I say appeared because I just can’t believe she’s going to break them apart and find him a new love. That’s how much I agree with you–a second love is very hard to sell without in some way diminishing the depth of the first.
Lee: I’ll have to keep an eye out for reincarnated heroes. For some reason, I think I’ve read one, but you and Kerry are right, they are not common. Your aunt’s story rings true–life does go on despite death and loss of love, and what makes life worth living is loving.
Misa: That’s so interesting about your uncle! 5 times!! My parents were divorced once and then remarried, and that was traumatic enough. But they are now in their 70s and I can’t imagine one without the other. The TTW sounds very intriguing! I wonder if it explores the idea of regret or if he’d choose his wife all over again, knowing what he knows. THAT’S true love, for sure.
Jill: I haven’t read Karen Rose but I’ve heard she’s awesome. Imagine a woman trying to live up to a former “perfect wife.” But I guess the answer is that “perfection” changes depending on time and experience. Thanks for posting today!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Virna, I’ve been told that J.R. Ward herself has said that Wellsie is dead and gone and not coming back, no ghost, no reincarnation. Frankly, I’m going to have a hard time going along with another love connection for that man unless a few hundred years elapse between her death and a new girlfriend. But I try not to speculate too much about the future of any author’s series because it’s too easy to get into a mindset of “this is the way it has to be” and then be disappointed when the actual book comes around because it’s not the way I imagined it, even if it’s otherwise a perfectly good book. I wish her the best of luck pulling that one off to anyone’s satisfaction!