Show Up Naked. Bring Food. By Christine M. Raymond
Several times a year, I receive an e-mail about romancing women versus men. To woo a woman you have to do a long grocery list of things including give flowers and chocolates. For men, you merely need to show up naked and bring food. Keep this in mind when writing from the male point of view.Men don’t know a chignon from Cheyenne. The heroine’s hair is pulled back in his view. What holds it there is of no consequence unless he intends to let her hair loose. And they like doing that.
Except if they’re an interior decorator, mauve, puce or dusty pink are all the same color so don’t bother asking. If your hero is sensitive he may try to bluff his way through, but he won’t do it more than once and that doesn’t mean he truly sees the difference.
Women have conversations with lots of details. Most men can convey a world of information to another male in monosyllables. For instance:
“Chet.”
“George.”
“Did you eat?”
“Nope.”
“Let’s go.”
That was two men making dinner plans. Space constraints prohibit me from writing a similar conversation between two women.
Most men will think you look good in that dress. They’ll also think you look good out of that dress so while you’re still agonizing over whether or not it makes you look fat, they have you naked. And any alpha hero worth his salt cannot fathom a situation where the word “fat” and “butt” could ever be used in the same sentence.
Men have an innate need to fix things. Now, I don’t mean the kitchen sink necessarily. If you go to a guy with a problem, he wants to find a solution. This is great for writing romance for two reasons. First, he can be a hero for finding the solution. Second, it can cause conflict when the heroine doesn’t want or like the solution. And we all know conflict in our writing is good.
If it’s true today, it’s true forever. For example, if my husband meets you and you have purple hair, regardless if it is Halloween, forevermore if he describes you, your hair will be purple. This is especially true of scientists and engineers. For them life is black and white. You are either hungry or not, there are no gradations.
If a naked woman is in the room, a man will look. That in no way makes him love you any less, but in a romance, you can use that to your advantage. Your heroine could be naked and the hero is trying his darndest not to look. I wouldn’t advise a scenario where a female other than the heroine is naked.
Men are territorial. Only constraints of society and civilization stop them from peeing on you every time they leave your presence. They have engagement rings to do the same job. That’s why when our heroine is in trouble the hero can’t help but try and save her even if she is perfectly capable of saving herself. Another excellent source of conflict.
Now obviously if all your heroine had to do was show up naked and bring food then your book’s going to be pretty short. Don’t make your male character be two-dimensional, but on the other hand don’t give him too much depth either.
Question of the Day:
Do you like your heroes to be territorial? Why or why not? And is there a line on what’s TOO territorial?
Chris Redding wanted to be a writer since she was ten years old. She belongs to Romance Writers of America, Kiss of Death, and New Jersey Romance Writers. Corpse Whisperer came out in 2007. She lives in New Jersey with her husband, two kids, a hound dog, a British cat
and a black spotted rat. When she isn’t writing, she works two part time jobs, both where she is surrounded by men!
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April 29th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Too territorial would be a major turn off for me. Territorial = Control and control in a relationship doesn’t work. While I totally agree that men speak and communicate differently, I’m not sure I’d go so far as to say they shouldn’t have too much depth. It’s all in how it’s orchestrated. I don’t want an uncommunicative dolt in real life, nor do I want one in my fiction. Finding the right balance between authentic male and accessible emotions is key.
Great post, Chris!
April 29th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Men will always have some trace of the Neanderthal gene, imho. *LOL* However, even Neanderthals learned how to make fire. Men can be counted on to bring the heat!
Carpe Noctem,
Des
April 29th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Chris great blog. LOL.
I like my hero to be a little territorial, it shows he cares, wants the heroine, plus the heroine can then put him in his place. Tell him she’s not there to be owned, but loved.
April 29th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Funny blog.
I’m thinking you need to give Clive Clussler some pointers.
Renee
April 29th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I like my fictional males to be a little territorial it moves the story forward and can create a lot of conflict, especially for a very independent female. In real life, I don’t. I rarely ask my husband for his opinion, or help, because I don’t get the answer I want. As you said, I get how to fix this, or how I could have avoided the situation in the first place so it wouldn’t have to be fixed. Men are frustrating creatures, much more then women.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
hmm… yeah. I do like my heroines territorial. That in and of itself makes a great conflict, seeing as how most men do not get the whole “my territory” thing that women do, and often times want them to explain it. How the heck do you explain, “she’s looking at you.”?
April 29th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Delightful take on this subject and very enjoyable.
I don’t want my heroes to be control freaks, but territorial works when the heroine is in trouble and counting on him (or not) to race to her rescue.
Meg
April 29th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I always said you should be writing comedy, you do do it so well.
My hero should be territorial, but I also don’t like him thinking he can control e v e r y t h i n g.
I like the way you ONE WORD or small phrase men’s POV .. yep that’s whyat they do somethines..
“I want to talk!”
“bout what?
“Us”
“okay”
“How do you feel about us?”
“good.”
well you know what I mean.. and thankfully not all men are like that.. but they are in my comedic stories.
Keep up the good work Chris.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:12 am
The funny think is, my husband is not territorial at all.
He’s very protective, but not territorial. Don’t think he has it in him.
cmr
April 30th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Chris,
I get the short speach, the fix everything and the territorial bit (I; ve lived 2/3s of my life with males) but how you you balance that with all the extra description, emotion, etc. stuff that you need to fill a novel. (Hint: Can you tell I’m a short story writer?)
Pat
May 1st, 2008 at 8:15 am
Read novels by men. Especially Harlan Coben. They are much sparser with thier description. My fave line of his “I sat in antique furniture as comfortable as an iron lung.”
Right to the point.
cmr