Living in Time
In 2007, I sent out one of my favorite stories to various agents in the publishing world. Several requested fulls and partials, only to reject my love child. Still, I didn’t feel too hurt because the comments were, in most cases, very encouraging about my writing. And yes, it showed me those agents actually read my manuscript. That is a huge plus on the road to the call. I view it as a few steps closer to my goal. I’m at least standing at the top of the stairs reaching for the door that will open to publication.
The comments were interesting, informative and helpful. Even with the positive comments, there was always the ‘but.’ They weren’t looking for that type of story, or they couldn’t connect to my hero or heroine. The comments ran the gamut.
The most interesting comment from one agent was that I needed to tone done the realism. The agent loved my descriptions. I pulled her into the times. She got a feel for the situation. But…it was too realistic. Not enough fluff.
It was a time travel, where my young heroine ended up in the 12th century. There she met up with a damaged dark knight. The agent stressed that, once she fell in love, my heroine should shed any desire to return to modern times.
The main premise of the story was how my heroine was torn between love for the knight and the longing to return home. After all, in the middle ages bathing was infrequent, food was scarce, and early death was more common than old age. To put it simply, life was extremely harsh. Yes, she longed for home, and when the opportunity came, she left. The knight reluctantly blessed her departure.
As much as the knight wanted her to stay, he was no dummy and understood this wasn’t her time. He didn’t follow her to the 21st century, either. Life in modern times for a 12th century warrior would be terrifying. As soon as he stepped out of the time portal, he’d probably drop dead from fear. If that didn’t kill him, all the noise would drive him insane.
My knight understood the reality of the situation and chose to remain where he belonged. I thought it was very chivalric of him. The agent didn’t see it that way.
The agent strongly suggested she’d be interested if I changed this all around. I tried and lost my voice. The story went from my story to hers. It no longer was what I considered unique in the time travel genre, but moved into the realm of ordinary. I never sent it back to her, because I have to like my story, and didn’t after the rewrite.
I’ve studied history extensively and have a true passion for it. I’m something of a history snob when it comes to details. I want it right, which in romance doesn’t always work. We embellish to make the appearance of life more attractive. We leave out minor details, like the presence of fleas in most beds, including those of nobles.
I’d love to go back in time to have a conversation with different historical figures, see a few sites and then be on my way home. I adore my modern conveniences. In my thinking, no one in their right mind would want to stay in the medieval era, even for love. I guess I’m just too pragmatic.
The story is sleeping now as I work on another WIP. Occasionally I look at it, tweak it. I’ll send it out in the future, when I see it as the right time. But for now it sleeps peacefully knowing it will remain true to my heart.
Question of the Day: Was the agent right? Should I change the story so the heroine wants to stay in the past with her true-love?
March 21st, 2008
Lee 
in
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March 21st, 2008 at 10:14 am
It would be a very tough sell as genre romance, where the majority of readers demand HEA, and hero and heroine separated by centuries at the end doesn’t qualify. For that reason, I can understand why the agent would be reluctant to rep it.
BUT it sounds like that’s the logical conclusion of YOUR story, and changing it isn’t a matter of just slapping a together-forever ending on it. Rewriting it so one character or the other abandons the world as he/she knows it would involve destruction of that logic throughout, demolishing the story’s integrity. Sometimes it’s better to be true to the story than to turn it into something you hate just to sell it. It’s going to have your name on it—it should be something you’re proud of.
There are a few publishers who accept unagented submissions (Kensington, Dorchester, and Avon come to mind), and an editor might be willing to take more of a risk on an unconventional story than an agent who’s trying to second guess what editors will go for. Have you tried cutting out the middleman? (You can always look for an agent to negotiate for you when you have an offer in hand.)
March 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Kerry, thanks so much for insight and advice….
March 21st, 2008 at 11:10 am
I agree with Kerry in the sense that you can’t change your story so much that it no longer IS your story. If you feel this strongly on the issue, you shouldn’t change it. That being said, however, as a big romance reader, I have to be honest that I wouldn’t be happy with the lack of a HEA. (Remember, the ending of Disney’s Pocahontas bothered me.) If it was marketed differently, then that’s fine. Great discussion of the conflicts between writing what we love versus writing what will get us represented.
March 21st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
I walk the line between traditional romance and ‘women’s fiction’ and I think that’s what you’re doing, too, Lee. If it’s marketed and sold as women’s fiction, or even contemporary fiction, the HEA isn’t an expectation. Perhaps you should send to a whole new set of agents who are interested in historical fiction, not necessarily romance. I think it sounds interesting…I’d read it in a heartbeat!
March 21st, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I’m considering different agents, because of this issue. Everyone gave me a lot to think about…Thanks
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Actually, I’d love to read a story like the one you’ve written, un-happily ever after as it might have had to end. I’m always baffled when I read time-travel stories where the heroine is jettisoned back centuries and so easily adapts to life during that time. Not only would the smells probably sicken me - that no bathing would just be gross - as well as the unappetizing food and lack of running water, indoor toilets, and central heating, but just the very attitudes about women-as-chattel would be nearly impossible to overcome for a modern-day woman. Sure, it would be a lot of fun to visit, but I’d never want to stay there.
So when I read a “normal” time travel scenario, I really have to turn off my disbelief to accept the scenario. In your story, though, it would be refreshing to read something realistic. I know this might change things too much, but what if you added an element of “reincarnation” to the world-building? Could the heroine return to her time and then meet the hero in his 21st century reincarnation? Since you’ve already accepted the premise of time travel, why couldn’t the hero’s soul being reborn into a 21st century man work?
March 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
The reincarnation idea is a very cool idea, Lynn. Definitely something to think about, Lee.
April 6th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I’m supporting this idea all the way! I can not imagine who would disagree with it. On the whole - make posts like this more often.